amultitudeofthings

Do you remember when money was fun?

Posted on 3 September 2010 | 10 responses

I’ve been thinking a lot about money lately. And, not in a good way.  It’s the kind of thinking where your stomach shrinks into a hard pit that you can feel every time you breathe.  Can you say yuck?

It is perhaps especially fitting that I am writing about money on the day before we (at least in America) celebrate Labor Day weekend.  A holiday that marks the contribution that workers make to our economy.  In effect, we are celebrating work.  Labor.

From our labor comes money – usually. Most certainly when we are working for others.  Sometimes when we are working for ourselves.

And perhaps that is why I am thinking about money at the start of this Labor Day weekend.  Because I have spent the summer “not working” in the traditional sense. I’ve been building my blog and developing a product prototype; both of which I love doing but neither of which has generated real money yet.

The idea of money or the lack of it feels heavy.  Frightening.  Burdensome.  Irritating.

It also feels full of possibility.  Like the grit in an oyster that will one day produce a stunningly beautiful pearl.  You see, I can still remember when money was fun. The thought of it.  Finding it.  Receiving it.  Earning it.  Making it.  Playing with it.

In a conversation a few weeks ago over drinks, my friend Ronna and I were talking with new-to-me Twitter pals Diane and Bella.  Somehow the conversation turned to money.  Doesn’t it always?  The how’s of money.  The how much’s.  Diane made a statement that has stuck with me.  She said, “Money is the easiest thing to manifest.”

Really?

That statement has been rolling around in the back of my head ever since.

What if having money didn’t involve labor in the worst sense of the word? You know what I’m talking about.  Hardship.  Pain.  Fear.  Trauma.

What if having money was fun? Joyful.  Easy.  A catalyst for creative thought.  The impetus for commerce.

What if having money was a game you played for the sheer enjoyment of it? Like Monopoly where you enjoy the journey and the intrigue of it all without knowing what square you are going to land on.

So here’s what I am thinking.  I’d like to do an experiment for the next 30 days:  on each day of the experiment, I am going to play at finding money. I’m going to do one thing designed to earn money or bring me money – without worrying about the outcome.  I am going to act as if money is fun and easily available.  Just as I remember.

Want to play??  Join me. 

DOWNLOAD THE MONEY MANTRA

Put it where you can see it every day for 30 days.  Act on it.  Share what happened.  Be part of the “Money is Fun” experiment.

Sign up for the blog so you don’t miss an installment!

P.S.  As I was writing this, $120 showed up at my door.  Money I had lent someone with no expectation of getting it back.  Hhhhmmm.

Monday Madness: Riding the Crazy Train & What to Do About It

Posted on 30 August 2010 | 6 responses

If you are one of those people that wakes up on Monday morning, and says, “Awesome, it’s Monday,” you may want to stop reading right now.  On the other hand, if you wake up on Mondays and don’t want to get out of bed, you might want to stick with me here.  You may be riding the crazy train.

What do I mean by the crazy train?  The crazy train is that place where you question what you are doing and why but you keep doing the same thing over and over again and can’t stop.  The train is hurtling down the tracks and you can’t even identify the stations let alone figure out where your stop is.  If you do manage to find your stop, you can’t seem to summon the courage to get off the train.  It is madness.  Not good.

Most of us work for a living.  The work we do, whether that of an employee or entrepreneur, fills the bulk of our days, weeks, months, and years.  How we feel about Monday morning seems to me to be an accurate way to gauge how we feel about our work and our lives. If you hate Mondays, not only may you hate your work, chances are you may also hate your life.  It is Monday madness.  Not good.

If you find yourself in this place, you need to stop riding the train blindly and hoping you will end up somewhere you want to go.  You need to get off the crazy train.  In order to end the madness, you are going to have to dive deep and look at your life.  And it all starts with Monday.  If you can get a handle on your Mondays, you have good chance of getting a handle on the rest of it.

What does Monday mean to you?  For years, Monday meant the end of my personal freedom.  A return to doing things I didn’t want to do.  An infringement on my time.  And I resented it.  That resentment propelled me to make changes so that I could feel good about my work, which in turn, made me feel a whole lot better about my life.  Pinpoint your feelings about Monday and see what story those feelings tell.

What words do you use to describe your Mondays?  In my many careers, there have been times where I have been in the car on my way to work and from the outside, I looked totally normal; but, inside, I was screaming things like, “this is crazy, it’s too much, I can’t do this anymore, I hate my clients, I hate this work, I can’t face another Monday.”  Language like this is a huge clue that you need to make a change of some sort.  Maybe it is the type of work.  Maybe the people.  Maybe the company.  Maybe the commute.  Look at the words you are using to hone in on what the crux of the issue is for you.    

What does your body have to say about it?  If you aren’t listening to the words inside your head, you body may be saying a thing or two.  That sick feeling in your stomach.  The pain in your back.  The headache that doesn’t seem to go away.  I’ve had all of these things.  In fact, at one point in my legal career, I had a crease in my forehead from furrowing my brow so much in response to stress.  As soon as I quit the legal profession, that crease went away.  Examine your aches and pains.  See when they occur and discover the why – it could tell you volumes.

What are your Mondays telling you???  Talk to me.

How to Ask for What You Want & Get It.

Posted on 26 August 2010 | 4 responses

The other night my daughter cajoled me into going on a bike ride with her.  Mind you, I’m not actually riding a bike myself.  My role is to walk behind her as she masters the intricacies of balance on her new princess bike.  It was hot.  I didn’t want to go.  But she asked and asked and finally I relented.

We set off and soon were traveling down a street we hadn’t visited before.  We discovered a home with a beautiful garden in a shady spot and stopped to take a look.  I needed a break. The homeowner was out tending her garden.  I complimented her on her creativity because she had used such interesting materials in the garden, like hazelnut shells, shards of pottery and broken auto glass, that I kept looking to see what I would discover.

Before I could get too far into a conversation with the homeowner (who I will call “the gardener”), my child took over.  And here’s what the conversation looked like.  No lie.

Child:  What are these?

Gardener:  Those are succulents.

Child:  Can I have one?

Gardener:  Sure. (She snipped off one the size of a penny.)

Child:  Actually, can I have a bigger one?

Gardener:  Sure.  (She snipped off one the size of a cup.)

Child:  Oooh.  What is this?

Gardener:  A bone I found on the beach.  I think it looks like a seagull wing.

Child:  Can I have it?

Gardener:  No, I’d like to keep that.

Child:  Well, if you go to the beach and find another one, can I have that one?

Gardener:  Sure.

Child:  Oooh.  Why do you have these feathers here?

Gardener:  Because I thought they were pretty. (Crows feathers.)

Child:  Can I have one?

Gardener:  Sure.

And on it went until I could drag her from this garden paradise.  I was mortified.  She was completely unperturbed.   She had scored major treasures.

It wasn’t until I got home that I realized I had seen a pro in action.   A four year old child knows better that most adults how to ask for what she wants – and get it. 

I offer these tips from a four year old pro:

1. Ask like a child.  Ask for what you want with the innocent belief that you just might get what you want. 
2. No harm in asking.  Ask for what you want and feel no shame or guilt about it.
3. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.  If you don’t ask, you know for sure what you will get – a big fat nothing.  If you do ask, you just might get what you asked for.
4. If not successful the first time, adjust course, rephrase and ask again.  Perhaps your target did not understand you the first time.  Restructure the question.  Maybe they will understand and give you want you want.
5. Always have a back up plan in mind.  If you think your primary “ask” might be out of reach, have an alternative in mind and ask for that.  Your odds of getting that “ask” are greater because the person will feel bad for having turned you down on the first request.
6. Keep asking until you lose interest or are turned away.  Your chances of success increase in direct proportion to your persistence and interest; however, don’t be irritating or offensive.  Practice common sense and kindness.
7. People want to be helpful; really, they do.  Most people will want to please you and say yes somehow.  It is human nature.  So keep this in mind when you are making an “ask”.  It will make your delivery so much better and increase your chances of a positive response.

 Go forth and ask.  You just might get what you want.  Wouldn’t that be something?

Coming of Age

Posted on 23 August 2010 | 6 responses

There are many “coming of age” stories in our lives:  the day we get our driver’s license; the day we earn the right to vote; the day we can legally drink alcohol; the day we get married; the day we have our first child.  Milestones.  We have arrived at an age to do or be something deemed meaningful.

I’d like to talk about coming of age in a different way.  I call it, “the creative coming of age.”  An age when powerful energy and ideas break free.  Brace yourselves; I’m talking about women who are getting ready to retire. 

Because of the industries I have worked in, I am lucky to have friendships with powerful women of a certain age.  These women forged the paths I was able to follow and made it easier for me to do what I wanted to do.  They laid the groundwork.  Did the hard work.  Now, many of them are ready to leave long, successful careers. 

They are smart.  Accomplished.  Driven.  And they are walking out of their careers into their next lives.  With energy.  With passion.  With purpose.

They are starting new businesses that run the gamut from producing heavenly honey to providing insightful consulting on leadership development.  They are exploring creative facets of their lives they have long neglected – like acting, writing and dancing.  They are ready to do things differently, with a wealth of knowledge and experience behind them. 

As I watch these creative women step into their next lives, I find there are lessons and opportunities for us all, if only we look.

Retirement has a permissive quality that we should introduce into our own lives even if we aren’t ready to retire.  These women have given themselves permission to pursue their dreams and interests.  Granted, there is a certain freedom that comes with a retirement income but this is more than that.  It’s a mindset that says, “It is ok to want what I want.  This is my time.  I choose to surround myself with the people and things that I truly love.”    

Being creative on our own behalf is powerful stuff – we should do it more.  All of these women have been thoughtful and creative in their work lives; but, seeing them dream and come up with ideas for their own lives and businesses has a completely different quality.  It is infused with joy, excitement and anticipation.  It is rich and personal.  It is positively infectious.

It’s good to keep learning and growing.  Many of the women are stepping into realms of entrepreneurship.  Although they have had successful careers, they aren’t afraid to admit they don’t know everything.  Instead, they are jumping in to learn what they don’t know well – things like the use of social media to build their businesses.  They are actively looking for resources to help them learn new ways of doing business, just as we all should.

Ultimately, these women are creating their own coming of age stories:  purposefully crafting lives that are meaningful and interesting to them.  Lives that let their creative selves come out to play, and not just on weekends. 

I want to be like them.  Now.

What if we didn’t wait until retirement for our creative coming of age?

Please leave a comment and let me know what you think!

6 Steps to Building Your Risk Muscle

Posted on 19 August 2010 | 2 responses

I don’t know about you, but I like feeling strong.  Before the birth of my daughter, I loved to spend time at the gym lifting weights.  The feeling of pushing myself and coming out the other side better than I went in was heady stuff.  And, seeing the muscles pop wasn’t a bad thing either.

One of the areas where many of us don’t feel strong is around taking risks.  We are afraid that something awful will happen if we try something new or choose to embrace our own authenticity.  In most cases, this couldn’t be further from the truth but fear keeps us stuck.

If you want to get unstuck, developing your risk muscle is not as hard as it sounds.  You just have to be willing to start. I’ve used these techniques many times to get myself going or to make major life changes.

1.  Warm up.  With any exercise, you’ve got to get warmed up so you don’t injure yourself.  The same is true with building your risk muscle.  Start with small things that you normally wouldn’t do but that don’t have huge consequences attached.  Call someone you don’t know but have admired and ask for their advice on a subject.  Make eye contact with a complete stranger and hold it.  Dye your hair red.  Don’t you feel daring?  You are getting warmed up to tackle bigger stuff.

2.  Flex.  Flexing your muscles requires movement.  In weight lifting you have to understand how to do the movement properly in order to get the maximum benefit.  Do you know which direction you want to move?  Need to move?  How the movement could be done?  Spend some time looking at your options or doing research – whatever makes you feel more comfortable about the movement you need or want to make.

3.  Lift. Now, pick up your weights.  You don’t need to pick the heaviest weight out there – just one your muscles will feel.  Look at the things you want or need to do in your life and pick from your options.  Do you want to quit your job and start a business but the whole thing feels too hard and heavy with risk?  Do you want to live in Paris but are afraid to make the move because you won’t be able to communicate?  Start with a smaller weight.  Can you go part-time and start your business on the side?  Can you take French lessons?

4.  Push.  Once you’ve got your weights in your hands, you need to use them and push yourself to make it through the repetitions.  I’ve been doing a fitness boot camp recently where they warn you that you might puke.  Charming, isn’t it?  I don’t want to suggest that you push yourself to the point you feel like you are going to puke, but you do need to push yourself to finish what you start.  It’s the only way you are going to build your muscle and feel strong.

 5.  Find a spotter.  Sometimes, when doing really heavy lifting, it is helpful to have a spotter.  In the gym, this is someone who is there to assist you so the weights don’t fall on your head.  If you are going down a path where you will be pushing yourself beyond what you think your limits are, find a mentor, a coach or a friend who can support and encourage you when the going gets tough.

6.  Repeat. Thought you were done?  Nope.  You get to do it all over again.  The only way to build your muscle is to be consistent with your work out.  And once you get to a place where you are feeling comfortable, it’s time to add more weight!!

I would love to hear your thoughts on how you view your risk muscle.  Is it strong?  Does it need work? Are there techniques you have used in the past that help you take risks?  Where do find that you need help around risk?  Leave a comment and let’s talk!

An Ordinary Day

Posted on 16 August 2010 | 4 responses

The ordinary acts we practice every day at home are more important to the soul than their simplicity might suggest.  ~ Thomas Moore

I got up early today because the sun was making itself known.  Alive.

I stripped the sheets off the bed, washed them and hung them out to dry to capture the scent of summer.  Sweet.

I cleaned out the murky goldfish bowl.  Relief.

I threw some chicken in the crockpot with herbs from the garden.  Simple.

I went to the grocery store and spent a leisurely hour replenishing everything that I had run out of.  Satisfaction.

I took my daughter to the water park and watched her run laughing through the sprinklers.  Joy.

I took a tiny nap.  Peace.

I read a few pages from a novel.  Pleasure.

I wrote. Creativity.

I prepared a cold salad for dinner and visited with family.  Love.

An ordinary day.  An extraordinary day. 

I want every day to be an ordinary day.

Sometimes, we think that our days must be filled with high-octane adventure for our lives to have meaning.  To find happiness.  To be inspired.  To be creative.

They don’t. 

Mind you, I love adventures.  They are the fuel that can propel us to new heights and add incredible dimension to our lives.  But, the simple ordinary things we do every day – and the attention we give them – seem to me to have the power to transform our lives into the extraordinary.

I know what you are thinking.  My ordinary day did not include rushing off to work, sitting in endless hours of traffic, or spending time on projects, people or things that didn’t interest me in order to pay the bills.  Of course it is easy for me to have this kind of a day.  How nice for me.

I’ll say it again.  I want every day to be an ordinary day.  But I am not there yet.  I think it is possible.  I am working on it every day – some days with more success than others.  

The Serendipity Strategy

Posted on 13 August 2010 | 5 responses

Serendipity is the art of making an unsought finding. ~ Pek van Andel

I used to have a boss that believed networking was “not working.”  I could never understand that perspective and our relationship didn’t last long.  You see, I believe in the power of connection.  Of being interested in people and what they want for their own lives. 

It is through connection with others that we often make happy discoveries; ones that we didn’t even know we were looking for.  Ideas.  Leads.  Jobs.  Relationships.  One of my mentors, a great civic leader in our community, used to drill into my head that employing the power of connection could lead to spectacular results – the moment of serendipity that changes everything.

Recently, I listened to Joi Ito in a BBC interview where he described his personal success strategy as one where he does not plan everything meticulously but instead, employs a strategy of “serendipitous living” through a broad network of interesting people.  Given that he was one of the backers of Twitter, I suppose this approach is not surprising.  But let’s think about this for a moment….

What if we didn’t plan everything down to the last detail?

What if we concentrated on building networks of amazing people in our lives?

What if we connected with those people in meaningful ways?

What if we sat back and were present for what showed up?

What if we expected to be surprised by good fortune?

Hmmmm.  Could a serendipity strategy be a way of creating the life we want? 

I think I like it. 

What do you think?  Has serendipity ever touched your life in a meaningful way?  Leave a comment and let’s flesh this out a bit.  We might be on to something.

Reflections for a Summer Day

Posted on 12 August 2010 | 4 responses

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

~ Mary Oliver, The Summer Day

Am I living in a dream world?

Posted on 10 August 2010 | 2 responses

In my last post, Creativity as a Religion, I wrote about treating creativity as a sacred part of our lives – complete with ritual, rhythm and reverence.  To many of you, I’m sure this looks and sounds like a beautiful dream.  Or a far-fetched fantasy.  Faced with the never-ending demands of work and family, taking the time to honor creativity in our lives seems untenable. 

I can relate.

As a single mother of a small child who is dependent on me for just about everything, it can be hard to think about leading a life centered in creativity – let alone actually live it.  Except, in an odd way, it really isn’t.

Admittedly, there are days when I would like to pull my hair out when I am trying to write something or tease out an elusive thought and am wondering if anybody is reading or cares anyway and am interrupted every two seconds with, “mommy can I … or mommy can you ….” 

At times like this, Virginia Woolf slips unbidden into my mind as she suggests that all a woman really needs to fulfill her creative purpose is a room of her own.  Sometimes I’d like to run to that room and lock the door.  But I can’t.  And so I must pull myself together, take a deep breath, and start again.

Having the time and space to create in peace and quiet is a beautiful thing.  My heart yearns for those moments because I rarely have them.  I am almost never alone.  My daughter wakes when I do and I am too exhausted to stay up at night after she goes to sleep.  At the same time, I wonder if I would be as productive or dedicated to my creativity-centered life if I had all the time I needed and wanted.  An interesting question, isn’t it? 

So, instead of wishing for what isn’t, I have chosen to accept what is and see if I am creative enough to make it work.  I have chosen to keep creativity in the midst of our lives – not something that is hidden in private spaces.  I have chosen to find the sacred in the ordinary, in the simple, and the practical.

When stuck in traffic during a commute, I use the time to flesh out creative concepts and engage my daughter in the process.  I ask her how she would solve particular problems or what color I should use or what I should write about.  Her responses are fresh and unfiltered and inspire my own thoughts. 

I write at the dining room table as my daughter colors next to me and shreds mountains of paper with her snub-nosed scissors.  I write in the backyard as she picks blueberries and waters the plants.  My sacred spaces are where she is. 

My rituals and rhythms are informed by my daughter’s needs and schedule.  I announce that I am going to write or work on a project – and hope for two minutes of uninterrupted time.  I find moments for creative dreaming as she snuggles in my lap while I drink my morning coffee. 

We celebrate together when the creative thought strikes or when the wished for result occurs. She shares my delight and reverence.  Nothing compares when her face lights up as she says, “mommy, we are so lucky!”

Yes, we are. 

Although it is not perfect or easy, creativity fills our ordinary days.  And it is not a dream.

Creativity as a Religion

Posted on 8 August 2010 | 5 responses

Creativity is a religion.~ Eric Maisel

I love the idea of creativity as a religion and all that it implies:  belief in that which you cannot see, faith that it exists, devotion to its tenets, a practice of observing its principles.  What if we truly treated creativity as a religion in our own lives?  What would that look like?

Finding a sacred space.  Every religion has sacred spaces where, once you enter, you know that your sole purpose is to immerse yourself in your faith.  The religion of creativity is no different.  You need to set aside a space where, once you enter it, you know that your focus, your purpose, will be to summon your creativity.  Do you have a space that is yours alone in which to create?  A room?  A corner of the garage or the dining table?  If you do not, perhaps this should be the first place you start.

Observing rituals.  Rituals have the power to inspire creativity.  At first, this may seem counterintuitive – doing the same things over and over again hardly seems creative.  However, a ritual has the ability to bring your mind to a place where it knows the sacred work of creativity is about to begin.  What rituals do you observe?  Do you put on music?  Light a candle?  Brew an exceptional cup of coffee?  Organize your paper and pens just so?

Setting a rhythm.  If you have ever attended a religious service, you know there is a regular pattern of activity.  A follows B follows C.  It is soothing and comfortable.  You do not have to think too hard or worry about what comes next. As a result, it frees the mind to be present in the moment – where the real work of creativity can be done.  Do you have a rhythm that you follow when you create?  Do you set aside a specific time of day – before breakfast or after you exercise?  Do you give yourself a set amount of time – say one hour a day to work on your book or build your new ebusiness?  Do you “work” for 15 minutes and do a physical activity for five minutes?  It doesn’t matter what the rhythm is.  It is just important that you establish one.  In doing so, you will prime the pump for creativity.

Taking time for reverence.  No doubt about it, creativity is a gift.  Fortunately, one we all have access to.  Do you take a few moments each day to appreciate the great gift that creativity is?  The amazing ability of your brain to solve problems and come up with solutions?  Do you appreciate your imagination?  Give thanks?  It is only through appreciation and gratitude that we can hope to be rewarded again and again with flashes of insight and stunning brilliance.

Amen to that.

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